by Corky Jones

Created on: July 02, 2007

"Nan B. Madd"

My name is Nan,
Nan B. Madd to be exact.
I don't like hamburgers.
And that's a fact.

I don't like hot dogs, french fries or cake,
To tell the truth,
I'd rather swallow a rake.

I don't like parrots, dogs or cats,
I don't like animals,
and that's that.

I don't like Christmas carols, presents or pie,
In fact, I've even made Santa cry.

I don't like guests, friends or neighbors.

Who said I needed any favors.

Knocking on my door, always wantin' to talk,
I think I'll booby trap the sidewalk.

I don't like heavy metal, rock or rap,
Whoever invented that music
Well, he's just a sap.

Dancing, laughing and feeling free,
Just a bunch of hogwash,
if you ask me.

I don't like rain, wind, sleet or snow,
If you had arthritis, you'd know.
Sunny days just make me mad,
Do you know how many heat strokes I have had?

Windchimes really jerk my chain,
They'd drive anyone insane.
Ching-Chang, ching-chang,
Who likes that racket anyway?

What's my problem?
Is that what you said?
I'm 93 years old,
two hoo-hahs from dead.

I don't have a problem,
Just honest I think.
If there's one thing I've learned,
its that all lies stink.

People these days, they just don't know,
what it means to hoe a row.
Lazy, devilish with big bellies you see.
And you want to know what's the matter with me?

The food I eat,
Well, its homemade.
And outside's where the animals stay.

Fairy tales, are just big lies,
And what I do ain't for the neighbor's eyes.

In the heat, rain and snow,
I've worked my hands to the bone.
You spend your days cooped up inside,
So the weather don't bother you..
I'm not surprised.

Music now, its just profane,
By cursing, these people walk to fame.
Buy'n those records, you burn your cash,
Just so you can just support the trash.

People these days, ain't got no respect.
That's why I've said "Well, to heck."
I say what I feel and feel as I do,
And one of these days, you will too.

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