by Sharon Green

Created on: July 02, 2007

The meaning of the word tact is: Sensitive mental touch, peculiar skill or faculty; nice perception or deiscernment; ready power of appreciating and doing what is required by circumstances. Tactful means: Full of tact, characerized by a discerning sense of what is right, proper, or judicious. Those are the two meanings I found at http://www.webster-dictionary.net/definition/Tact.

I personally understand what being tactful is. Situations have arisen in my life that required me to be tactful to another human being. Considering a situation that arose for me where suttle hints didn't work for some people who had been given hints in words that I spoke to them. Words that went right over their heads. For whatever reason they didn't get what I was saying. So I had to revert to being more tactful with them.

An example I am going to refer to is a situation where my children were still quite small. We had company come for dinner one afternoon. They came in the afternoon and stayed for dinner that evening. The visit went quite well and everyone enjoyed themselves from what I could tell.

As the afternoon turned into evening, I began to wonder what time these people would be leaving because My children had a set bedtime. It was important to me to keep my children on their schedule. Their bedtime routine takes some time because I always bathed them, dressed them and had story time with them before they actually went to bed.

Beginning around dark time, I began to bring up bath time for my children in front of our company. Stating that is was amazing how the time had flown by. How I didn't realize how late it had gotten. My children would be needing their baths soon.
Nobody said a thing. They acted as if I never said a word.

Ok, I'm thinking to myself, I have to be a little more suttle with them. Apparently they have a much shorter bedtime routine. They weren't worried about the time at all. Or the fact that I had children to get to bed.

The next thing I do is begin to get my children's night clothes layed out for bedtime. As I am talking to my company, I was mixing and matching pajama tops and bottoms for my girls to wear after their bath. You would think that would have been a good time for them to begin to exit our home but it wasn't. The continued to sit around talking to my husband while I worked around them.

Realizing at this point that my words were going to have to be more than suttle, I began to contemplate what I would say next. Being tactful with people is something I have always been pretty good at. I want to help my company understand that it isn't anything personal. It is just time for them to go. Without hurting their feelings. The problem was for me that it shows inconsideration when people stay and stay at your home, especially when they have been all but told, "Hey, it is time to go."
I ended up telling them we had a wonderful time. Even going so far as to say we would have to do it again another time. Then come the words that they could not ignore.

"It's been really nice visiting with you all but it is time to go home now. Thanks for coming. Have a good evening."

Now, there aren't a whole lot people who could ignore my very tactful but kind words that I said to them, "See you later." is basically what it amounted too.
They did gather their things and leave at that point. I felt bad for having to be that way but unfortunately, at times, there is no other choice. Some people just do not know when it is time to go. They want to stay and visit regardless of what you need to do. I find it rude and distasteful.

Being tactful can be done in a way that is polite and kind. It is how you word it and what tone you use. As I have shown in this true story, it works.

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