by Sherelle Cary Smith

Created on: July 01, 2007

No. It's not ever "okay". This is not meant to sound like a judgment to anyone who has but it is something to consider. If you are committed to a relationship, then you have asked for someone's trust. To cheat on them would be to break that trust no matter what the circumstances. The straying heart and mind (the "mind" part being very important) is an indicator of problems between two people. I don't think a person "wants" to cheat; I think they feel the "need" to cheat to satisfy something that is missing in their life; something they feel they are not getting from their partner. It's so important to deal with and recognize this fact. A lot of hurt and heartache can be avoided if this is recognized. Most of the time, one of both parties are not being honest with each other.

I believe honesty is crucial to preventing the "cheating syndrome" within a relationship. While you may not feel the need to share your desire to cheat, you need to share what is underlying in that desire. You need to look at your own heart. Have you been hurt? Have you been neglected? Do you feel a need to retaliate against your partner for some reason? If so, you need to just deal with those emotions before taking that fatal plunge.

No matter what "wrong" you feel has been done against you by your partner, it is never okay to cheat and betray someone's trust. Then you become no better than the person you who wronged you. It would be better to walk away without cheating than to betray that trust in my opinion. At least you would be honest and up front. I do not believe that "you can have your cake and eat it too" with cheating. The relationship will be damaged, maybe even beyond repair. When two people are committed to each other, they try to make things right. Cheating thwarts that ability to make things right. Unless things are so far gone that there is no hope for recovery, take the high road and don't cheat. Try to be honest and open with your partner instead. Remember all the things that made you fall in love with him or her. Remember the time when you were truly friends. You wouldn't hurt a friend.

I know we live in an age where the prevailing philosophy is: "What they don't know won't hurt them" but that is the biggest lie ever told. Your heart will betray you eventually. Why risk it? Why live a double life? Either you want to be in the relationship or you don't. Straddling a fence will eventually hurt you when you do slip and fall (there's a visual for you!). It's going to hurt just like that. Be on one side, or be honest enough to be on the other. It will be easier to live with yourself and your conscience.

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