by Brent Hodges

Created on: July 01, 2007

My wife and I definitely went into the 'slump' after the honeymoon but through some simple changes we pulled out of it. Here are a few tips and a personal story that I hope will help if you have fallen into a slump.

1. Stay active. Boredom is the number one thing that will lead to depression and the slump. If you spouse does not work do let them sit at home and do nothing. Because the second you get home from your job and want to relax they are read to go. This will stress you out because you want to relax and if you choose ignore them you stress them out and you will find your spouse will slip even faster into depression.

2. Have a date night. This can be anything that is just the two of you so that you can spend some quality time together.

3. You are married now and it's not about you its about us. Keep in mind, love brought you together but sacrifice will keep you together. When you are married and you sacrifice you needs for the needs of your spouse you will get it back 10 fold. This means do something for your spouse above what you normally do. This can be something simple like cooking dinner, doing the dishes, or mowing the lawn.

4. Talk to each other. If you are unhappy tell your spouse. If you do not speak up then we assume you are happy. Now this can be a double edged sword but you must find the courage and the wisdom to express yourself and not hurt your spouse in the process.

Most importantly do not lie to spouse about how you feel even if you feel that it will hurt their feelings. They may not call you out on it but they will know if you lie. Anything that you withhold from your spouse will eventually drive a wedge between you given enough time.

Me and my wife pulled ourselves out of the slump by having a date night. I like country music and my wife enjoys it but prefers rock. Therefore, she had never really been to a country bar and danced before. Luckily, there is a local bar that has free dance lesson on Fridays and Sundays. Since I work nights and I also work oon Fridays, Sunday was the day for us. That first time was a little awkward at first but once we held each other close and started moving everything else just melted away. There must have 30 to 40 couples there that night but when we danced it was just us. It made us fall in love all over again. It's now a year later and we still go twice a month and we love it.

So if your in a slump, the next time you see your spouse just walk up to them, give them a big hug, and tell them you love them. Good luck and remember to laugh.

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