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"Excuse me Garcon, yes please, ME!,
Could I possibly order my tea?
I've been here an hour-the service is poor,
Stop watching that clock just above the front door"

"You've ran out what?, the menu is old,
Whatever I order is bound to be cold,
I don't like that soup, there's no crusty bread?
You appear to have dandruff all over your head!"

"Where is my napkin, this glass is unclean,
This floor is the filthiest I've ever seen,
Your nails are bitten, your shirt is not pressed,
Does your mother know that your working half-dressed!"

"I only like steaks as blue as the sky,
Stop giving that waitress your flirty young eye,
I'm only in town just to visit a friend,
But you are driving me round the bend!"

"Oh, enough is enough, I will stand nothing more!
Get me the Manager, bring them here I implore,
My grandson is older, and you are in charge?
I expect the bill will be horrendously large!"

"Thats it, I am leaving, I will never return,
I hope this complaint will teach you to learn,
Customer service is a god-given right,
So be gone, thats it, get out of my sight!"

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