by Julie Michael

Created on: June 29, 2007   Last Updated: February 18, 2009

My children *seldom* misbehave in public (Notice I didn't say NEVER!), but when they do, it's usually due to tiredness or illness. I seldom have people make comments about my children in public, unless it's something nice, such as "Oh, they're so cute.." or "Oh, they're so well-behaved". However... Simply because they're children- there are a few exceptions to that rule!

I don't appreciate ANYONE criticizing me or my children just because one of them might cry or raise their voice slightly, especially if the person doesn't have children or they seem to have forgotten what it's like to have a small child.

That being said, I also don't think I need to subject other people out in public, to my children's crying, fits, etc.. If the kids are overly tired or not feeling well, the best thing to do is to remove them from the situation and take them home.

It is not anyone else's place or job to judge me or my children however, and so, on occasion when I do get rude or unkind stares or comments.. I just politely ignore the person. I also try my best not to stare or make rude or unkind comments to someone else about their children... Unless you are in that mother's shoes, then you have no idea what's *really* going on.

I think if a mother is doing her best to make sure her children are polite and well-behaved in public and doing her best to remedy the situation, that there is no cause or reason to be rude and stare or make unkind comments. If someone feels the need to give me unsolicited, and unwanted, advice.. I usually don't even respond.

Perhaps my response is a little rude, but, if, for example, I'm trying to get my grocery shopping finished, my kids are crying because they're tired, etc. I can't very well drop what I'm doing to listen to someone's "advice" that isn't wanted or needed, nor do I have time to continue "shushing" my children simply because someone is giving me rude stares. If I'm in a restaurant, however, and my children may be "acting out", I will, out of respect for other diners, get to-go boxes and take my children home.

As parents, we do the best we can to teach our children how to behave in public, but sometimes, we should take our children's ages, tiredness, etc.. into consideration.. And ask ourselves, "Is it really necessary to continue ___________? Or would it be best to take my child home." You'd be surprised how often things aren't THAT important, and the best thing to do is to take care of the well-being of your child.

Children don't always mean to "act up" in public, and so we really should take that into consideration before we chastise them. Sometimes taking them home is necessary.

Other times, quieting them is also necessary. But I find it best to also ignore the rude stares, and ignore the rude or unkind comments and the people making them.

Ask yourself if there's truth to anything the person is saying, if there is, rethink how you're dealing with your child's "acting up"... If there's not, then ignore the person and go on!

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