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Let go

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There comes a time in every parent-child relationship when the apron strings must be cut. It is always best for both parties when the parent is the one who does the cutting. As parents, we raise our children to be happy, well-adjusted, independent, productive adults with their own lives. A parent never stops parenting, but their role is constantly changing as they go through each stage of letting go throughout their child's life.

From the moment you conceive a child you become a parent. When you receive the news that you're expecting a baby you begin preparing to let go. You let go of the fetus from your body and take it into your arms. Each stage of childhood is a stage of letting go: crawling, walking, running, playgroups, school, college, and adulthood. The image of letting go most parents first identify with is when their child drops the parent's finger, no longer needed for balance or security, and takes off walking on their own. What an exciting milestone for every mom and dad! We've prepared them for that step of independence and we beam with pride. The same can be true when our children let go of home and take their first steps of independence into the world as adults.

Parents make the mistake of believing when a child becomes an adult and leaves home their job is over that at some point they are no longer parents. Many have no idea how they will fit into their child's life, and they grieve when this transition takes place because their role seems to significantly diminish. No longer a constant participant in the child's life, some parents feel rejected, lost, lonely. Children go out into the world to make a life of their own and it's an exciting time for them, full of opportunity and decisions and promise and activity. They may not have time for their parents. They may seem to forget all about Mom and Dad.

I've always enjoyed watching toddlers play when they don't realize anyone is looking. Their personality shines. Their realest, truest self is developing, unhindered and free. What a glorious time! They get so absorbed in their own little world they are oblivious to anything else going on around them. For a little while they aren't thinking about where Mommy and Daddy are. They don't need anyone to tell them how to play. They don't need Mommy to pour invisible tea or feed baby-dolls their bottle. They don't need Daddy to make the firetruck go or put race-cars on the track. They are alone in space and time taking in everything their little make believe

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