Absolutely, there should definitely be sex on the first date! Wait come to think of it, no you should wait a bit. Well, maybe - my last girlfriend, we had sex on the first date, and that ended horribly. The girlfriend before her, we waited a month and that ended horribly.

Like many things in life, sex on the first date is one of those questions for which there is no clear-cut, right or wrong answer. Even though there are so many "experts" that can tell you what the right answer is. In the end, no one really knows what's best for you except for you. But when reaching your decision, just be sure to bear certain things in mind Romeo (or Juliette):

1. THIS ISN'T YOUR DECISION - Only half of it is. While it's true that you know what's best for you, you can't project your all-knowing properties to anyone else. Especially in this case, where chances are you're really getting to know this person for the first time. The question of "when it's time for sex" is one of the first serious joint decisions that a couple makes. That being said...

2. DON'T FORCE THE ISSUE - It's the end of the first date, you've had a great time and feel that you've really made a connection. You've shared, you've laughed, and now you even find yourselves kissing at the end of the evening. Feeling courageous, you make a coy suggestion to take it one step further. If she shoots it down, then that is immediately the end of that. Otherwise you risk ruining what was otherwise a perfect evening, and that might be the last night you see her. Or worse if she gives in to your continued pressure, she may have feelings of regret afterwards, or you may even feel like a jerk about it(you do have a conscience after all). Neither of these scenarios would bode well for the future of your new relationship. However if upon presenting your suggestion her face lights up like the Fourth of July...

3. DON'T STOP TO DO "WHAT'S RIGHT" - Look, if you get to this point it should be pretty clear that this is what you both want. Sometimes it been so long for either of you it's the only thing you want. Under no circumstance should you stop for fears of "it's not the right thing to do" or "what others might think of you". Applying the brakes after getting the green light will force her to ask herself either: a) what she did wrong, or b) what's wrong with you. So by all means, put the pedal to the metal, as long as you...

4. ACT INTELLIGENTLY - Your moment of bliss is not going to protect you from the issues that we face in reality. Unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases are very real consequences if you don't use your head. You know, that forgotten thing on your shoulders? The perfect end to the perfect evening could result in a less than perfect rest of your life. So always play it safe. And if you can't, rule number four always overrides rule number three. Always.

Armed with this handy little survival guide, you are now fully armed with the confidence to make the right decision about sex on the first date. Sex will happen when it's meant to, and the both of you will know. Still afraid about facing this question at the end of your date tonight? Just wear that sweater your mother gave you last Christmas.

Learn more about this author, Steven Machado.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Sex on the first date??
We want to hear your view. Write now!