by Bianquita

Created on: June 26, 2007

ALIVE

I hesitate, savoring my fear.
Merging with motion,
like a shooting star,
I gallop across reality
on a wild trajectory,
searching for possibilities,
willing to accept any role
that suits the circumstances.

Lions and zebras
must drink together
before the chase begins.
What difference does it make
whose mind I inhabit?

A common well of creation
is all there is.

Absolute darkness is where I go,

when I'm desperate for the light.

Sometimes I want blood,
and struggle,
and trembling flesh between my teeth.
Warm, responsive,
powerful muscles,
relinquishing their strength to my hunger,
exhilarating molecules of lust
and terror
keep me satiated with dreams of power,
until tomorrow.

Sometimes I run
as fast as I can
Knowing that I'm caught.

And then I cry
and surrender
spilling my life into the life of another.
The only way I have
to become One,
no longer one of many.

But how? How do I find the door
that lets me out of being alone?
How can I awaken,
now, within you,
to find that neither of us exists
outside of our blind desire to merge with another?

How do I master the nothingness I am made of,
this voiceless identity,
the only reality
that's worth anything
the only memory I can't retrieve
even as it haunts me,
and eludes me, just as I create myself from it?

Ah, my Love,
let me break through my doubts
and give you what I hold most precious:
my willingness to find you inside me.

Victims of the same ambition
we hide our dreams in secret drawers,
so that we can spend one moment
inside another's heart.

But who am I, I beg you,
reveal to me if you can
through your delicious Love,
who am I, I ask you,
when all that's left of me
is a tiny speck of light
dancing inside your eyes?

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