Indeed, the experience of being laid off has happened to me. I invested almost seven years of my life in a company, took work home, worked overtime, and cut short lunches and breaks occasionally. Yet, when I got called into that fateful meeting along with several of my co-workers, where the excrement hit the rotating blades; my first thought was: All those sacrifices were for nothing.

I think anyone who has ever been laid off shares that same feeling: A sense of betrayal in a way, that seemingly all you have invested was "for nothing".

This layoff happened over three years ago, and in that time my outlook has changed significantly. I recognized that I actually hated my job for a long time before the layoff, but I did not have the courage to do anything about it. I was afraid that I would lose my house, husband, and health coverage (I was sole provider of health coverage for my family).

The ironic thing is I did lose all those things, just as I predicted, but I managed to turn all those changes into something positive. The old house got exchanged for a smaller but nicer apartment in a better neighborhood, the husband that never emotionally supported me got replaced by wonderful friends, and I have better health because I don't hate the job I have now.

I have learned the following from this layoff:

- I now know that anything can happen in a job. Now I don't feel guilty about saying no. While at my job, I do it as well as I can, however I won't take on work where I have to stay late or anything (I am on salary now). I can say no if someone wants something done immediately and it's not possible without fear of repercussion, because experience has showed me sacrificing yourself for your job does not get you anywhere.

- I never sacrifice family time for a job anymore. That is self-explanatory really. Let's put it this way: I don't think anyone will lay on their death bed wishing they had worked more hours.

- When I am really sick, I call in rather then coming to work sick - without feeling too guilty. I know if I get fired for that, then it's not an employer I would want to be with anyway.

- I am approaching this job as a stepping stone, not the end of the road.

Most of all, I don't believe the statistics. I was out of work for a year. A few weeks before I found my current job, I heard on the radio that 80% of people that were out of work for a year never got employed again. I remember thinking to myself: Then what happens to these people? Do they become homeless? That part frightened me, but I found a job anyway and they did not even ask me about the long gap between jobs.

As with everything in life, yes it's okay to feel hurt and angry when it happens to you. However, after feeling those emotions, put your severance pay in the bank (not live off it until it was used up like I did), take stock of your life, and see it as an opportunity to improve the things you wanted to make better anyway.

Learn more about this author, Alexandra Heep.
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