Channel Button

There are 33 articles on this title. You are reading the article ranked and rated #18 by Helium's members.

Creative Writing   >

Short Stories

Get a Widget for this title

Short stories: Funny pet stories

I'll never forget our first hamster. He (or possibly she) was a cute little ball of white fur or maybe it was brown. I guess when I say I'll never forget our first hamster, what I mean is I'll never forget what happened to our first hamster.
We knew Snickers was special the moment we saw him in the huge glass hamster case at the pet shop. I reached in to pick him up and he reared on his hind legs and tried to swat my finger away with powerful albeit tiny paws. This hamster had spunk. Plus he was only $5.99.


We took him to the cash register and the clerk suggested a few accessories we would need in order to properly care for a hamster. The total came to $213.17. I know this seems a little high but the clerk explained that a hamster is an extremely complex life form. As such, it requires a very fancy cage call a "habitat," which is a complicated system of plastic containers connected to a sophisticated series tunnels leading to various secret passageways and burial chambers.
Our hamster would need this habitat, she assured us, if he was ever going to thrive. We bought this story hook, line and sinker, not to mention water bottle, bedding and food (ten-pound bag).
We headed home with Snickers safely enclosed in a cardboard carrying case with handle ($3.99), and his habitat securely tied to the luggage rack of the car (twine $.99).
After several hours of intense concentration (and some dazzling duct-tape wizardry), we plopped Snickers into his newly assembled habitat, where he quickly began chewing his way out.
Occasionally, we would take Snickers out of his habitat and try to pet him while he ran full throttle over our hands, up our arms and down our legs. What fun we had with the little guy (or gal)! Little did we know then what tragic circumstances lay ahead for our beloved Snickers - a tragic circumstance by the name of Lucy, our dog.
We thought Lucy was a pretty nice dog until the day we discovered that underneath her sweetness-and-light exterior lay the primitive brain of a hunter/killer.
Her prey? Let's just say Lucy enjoyed munching a Snickers now and then and I'm not referring to candy bars.
I still blame myself for Snickers' death, which is why I am relating this story in the hope that others will learn the lesson for which our precious Snickers gave his (or her) life. And that lesson is this: Never leave a child who is holding a hamster alone in the same room with a dog who likes to eat them (hamsters, not children).
If you must leave the room, take the dog and the child with you, leaving the hamster in the room alone. Then return in a boat to pick up the dog and drop off the fox while leaving the child with the chicken in the kitchen to guard the grain.
Or better yet, don't leave the room at all ever. In this case, I was gone only seconds when I heard a terrible commotion followed by the bloodcurdling scream of a child and the rodent-like heart-wrenching squeak of . . . a rodent.
It seems the worst had happened. Left to the supervision of a child, Lucy and Snickers had gotten into a deadly altercation. I ran back to the room to find the child dazed and in shock, Lucy cowering in shame and Snickers resting in peace.
It took us awhile to recover from the incident. We had to read When Bad Things Happen to Good Hamsters twice before we had the heart to make another trip to the pet shop to pick out Snickers #2.
Ironically, Lucy has just returned home from the animal hospital after a close brush with death because of an acute case of pancreatitus. The vet said Lucy would have to stick to a strict diet of chicken and rice. Anything else could kill her.
We can only hope Snickers #2 has the good sense to stay out her way - for both their sakes.

Learn more about this author, Linda Vernon.
Contact this writer Click here to send this author comments or questions.


Below are the top articles rated and ranked by Helium members on:

Short stories: Funny pet stories

  • 1 of 33

    by Nancy Berman

    We are what you would call an allergic family. Between the four of us we are allergic to almost every form of plant and animal

    read more

  • 2 of 33

    by Claire Voyant

    Misty is my brothers cat. She has been a member of his family for the last seven years. As such, she has learned how to handle

    read more

  • 3 of 33

    by Jesse Creedero

    Driving down the street, minding my own business, I had my dog, Lady, sitting next to me. She's a great big beautiful Chow,

    read more

  • 4 of 33

    by Norma Trent


    "Good Ole Boy"

    Jerry and I trudged through the field, carrying the sack that suddenly was getting quite heavy. I stopped for

    read more

  • 5 of 33

    by Mary Rice

    I have three cats, Mischief, MeeMee and O'Malley. Now one would Think that with a name like Mischief, that would be the

    read more

View All Articles on:
Short stories: Funny pet stories

Add your voice

Know something about Short stories: Funny pet stories?
We want to hear your view. Write_penWrite now!

105799

Featured Partner

AmericaSpeaks

AmericaSpeaks connects citizens with decision makers to discuss the most critical policy issues of today. Using i...more

What is Helium? | Buy Web Content | Contact Us | Privacy | User agreement | DMCA | User Tools | Help | Community | Helium’s Official Blog | Link to Helium

Helium, Inc.
200 Brickstone Square Andover, MA 01810 USA