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WHAT A BIG MISTAKE

I pregnant at a young age, I was nineteen and it was the year of 2004. I did not find out until I was two months pregnant. I told my mother about it and was so scared and afraid. I did not know what to do. I did not know how to tell my dad so I left it up to my mom to handle for me. She told him and eventually he talked with me about it. He more gave me advice that I should not have heard coming from a father (a man with two kids of his own). My mom was really happy about it and went out and bought baby materials for me to have which only made me even more uncomfortable but I see now that she was just trying to be nice. I finally told my grandmother about the pregnancy and she thought it was best that I had an abortion since I was young and all. She may have just thought I wouldn't have been a good mother, I don't know but she would call me everyday to see if I had made my decision on whether to keep the baby or have an abortion. Finally she called one day and I told her I decided to keep the baby. She said, No. No. No, you can't do that. So then I had to start all over and rethink everything again. I made the decision to go through with an abortion because my grandma kept telling me that I couldn't do it on my own and it was just too much. She even would tell me that when the doctor showed me the heart beat that it was not really the heart. I believed her because she was my grandmother. This just wasn't the advice a grandmother should give(a lady who has kids she loves to death of her own). Everyone should love their kids to death but not put them to death. Well back to my story. I made my decision to have an abortion. Around that time my OBGYN tried to contact me by phone so I returned his call, I was living with the babies father at this time. I told the doctor what I decided to do and he asked if I would stop by at the office so he could speak with me in person. I went to see him and he asked me what made me turn to having an abortion and I told him about my grandmother calling me everyday directing me in this way so I finally gave in to it. The whole time I wasn't doing what I truly wanted to do deep down in my heart. I never planned to get pregnant but it gave me a warm feeling inside my soul. I would at times imagine how I would be a wonderful mother and how I would spoil my kid and be the best for him or her. Mine and the doctor's talk had made me even more scared, so I thought I could turn to my dad

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