by Ann Lewis

Created on: June 24, 2007

Learn the secrets to listening to your teenager successfully and move closer to them with the techniques you will learn right here. Raising your teen can be both exciting and scary. They don't respond to you the way they used to and must now develop new tactical skills to actively listen to them. Communication between teens and their parents can be confusing for both parties as each side harbors unrealistic expectations for listening to each other.

As parents, we must remember that teenagers are "adults in training" and still have child like emotional needs. Treating them as adults is setting unrealistic expectations sure to end in failure. Parents and the home are still the most important influences in a teen's life and they determine how well adjusted a teen becomes. Regardless of how they act, teenagers need love and acceptance from their parents in order to reach their full potential.

Keeping these facts in mind, listen to your teenager with a "third" ear. Read between the lines and don't take every comment for full face value. Teens give parents mixed messages showing an "I don't care" attitude or a downright rejection of your attention. In reality, teens are crying out to be heard but they cannot risk rejection or being wrong because it will affect their self-confidence.

Listening to your teenager successfully requires your undivided attention. This will communicate that you love and accept them for who they are. Make eye contact and turn to face them when you are listening. Ask questions pertinent to the conversation so your teen will know you are actively listening to them.

Find time to listen and communicate with your teen alone. This is a formidable task but can be done. The best tactic is to wait until they come to you and begin talking. This can often be late at night or during a car ride when distractions are not present. When they sense that you are "open" to talking, they will initiate the conversation. Immediately drop what you are doing and listen! The rewards are great for listening to your teen and you will find that your relationship will fluorish.

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