I was raised that you always let others compliment your children. You do not carry on about how wonderful you believe your children are. You leave that up to other people. There is no need to tell your children they are doing great. They know should be because that is what is expected of them and if they are doing that, then they know they are wonderful.

I have a different theory. I love my children (not saying that future generations in my family didn't feel that way about their children) and I tell them all the time. I think they are wonderful and I tell them. I think they are smart and I tell them. And I tell the world. I love to talk about my children.

I am not here to say that my way is the best way to raise children. I don't think anyone can say that. I have also just started this journey into parenthood.

A few months ago, my stepson would comment on how stupid he thought he was. This broke my heart. Where was this coming from? Why would this little boy of only seven think that he was "dumb"? I immediately corrected him. I told him that he was not to say that about himself and that he is so smart and so wonderful. Whatever made him think he was dumb was wrong. He stared at me with the biggest blue eyes absorbing everything I was saying.

One day, we were in the car on the way to school and very casually he asked me, "When did you know I was a genius?" I told him the moment I met him, I knew and I am never wrong about these things. He simply said "Ok" and that was the last time that I heard the word "dumb" come from his mouth.

I recently had a debate about this issue with my mother. I was talking about my children and she corrected me that I should not tell other people how wonderful I think they are. I need to let other people say that. I argued that I was not going to sit around and wait for people who don't know my children to tell me and them they are pretty nifty. I don't think so. They may be waiting for a long time. People have other things on their "To Do" lists than to remember to tell my children they are great when they spend time with my boys.

I think that our children's self esteem does rely heavily on what we as parents/guardians say and do to our children. I can't blame anyone else if my children feel incapable of something. I can't blame Hollywood if my children think they are too fat or not handsome enough. I can't blame the President if my children don't think they are smart. The only person I can turn to is myself.

Learn more about this author, Traci McCaughey.
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