Last Christmas my husband and I were blessed to have many friends over to celebrate the holiday with us. Among those who came to visit were four of my ex-boyfriends, all four of whom are on friendly terms with my husband. We do, on occasion, go out to dinner or have cook-outs as a group on a fairly regular basis. I have even had lunch with them on my own many times.

My husband has developed several good friendships with my ex's. Their personalities and interests are similar enough that they enjoy each others company, whether I am present or not. My husband also has a few female friends that I have come to appreciate having around. Ultimately, It comes down to trust. I trust that he is with me because he wants to be. He assumes I too am content to be with him. We talk, we're open with each other, and we have a great relationship that is based in friendship, common goals and similar values.

Some might find this odd, dangerous even. But the plain and simple truth is this - I was friends with them before we dated, and I am friends with them after. I dated them for good reasons. They are funny, caring, witty, and intelligent. Basically they are fun to be around. I was attracted to them for these reasons, and was willing to try for something more. The fact that we didn't make it as a romantic couple in no way affects my ability to be friends with them.

I have to clarify that if my husband had a problem with these relationships, they would end. I would try to work it out, but if it could not be resolved between us, my husbands feelings of security would prevail. And sure, there have been a few ex's themselves who could not accept the change in our relationship back to a purely platonic footing. Overall, however, I have maintained some level of friendliness with them all. They were great people then, and I can still find value in their company. For those people who can not do the same, with at least one or two of their ex's, I have to wonder if you were dating those particular people for the right reasons right from the beginning.

Learn more about this author, C.L. Bennett.
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