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of overly defensive remarks.

== Body Language And Voice Inflections ==

Not only do your words mean a lot, but how you deliver them is a big factor, too. Your voice inflections plus your body language send definite messages. Here are just a few basics:

- The open arms (familiar)

- The shoulder shrug (don't know)

- The crossed arms (indifferent or angry)

- The smile (happy or relaxed)

- The single raised eyebrow (confused)

- The wide eyes (scared or surprised)

- The tapping foot (impatient)

These all show your thoughts and feelings without a single word. Use them wisely. During a conversation, leaning forward denotes interest, while leaning back or looking around the room shows disinterest.

Voice inflections can show sternness, gentility, excitement, boredom, sadness, ecstasy, or any number of emotions. If you don't think inflection is important, try holding up your end of a conversation using only a monotone voice (like a robot), and watch the other person's reaction. You'll probably get a raised eyebrow or wide eyes.

== Tact Quiz ==

Being tactful requires you to keep two basic thoughts in your head: your audience and their frame of mind. Naturally, it's easier to be tactful when you know the person, but even then, close friends have a tendency to be rude and crude to each other. Sometimes this is fine, and sometimes it's not. Here's a quickie test to help you figure out what you would do in certain situations:

You're clothes shopping in a crowded store and you spot a woman whose skirt tag is noticeably sticking out. Do you:

a) Point and laugh hysterically.

b) Ask her to pirouette in front of a mirror.

c) Quietly alert her to the situation.

d) Ignore her and keep shopping.

You're at a party and your close friend introduces you to his friend, who jokingly makes an ignorant comment about your favorite hobby. Do you:

a) Throw your drink in his face.

b) Huff indignantly and wait for an apology.

c) Smile and calmly correct him.

d) Snicker sarcastically while slapping your knee.

A distraught co-worker tells you that they just buried their pet that passed away after fifteen years. Do you:

a) Tell them to get another that looks just like it.

b) Make a joke referencing Stephen King's "Pet Cemetery."

c) Offer sincere condolences.

d) Quickly change the subject.

Your spouse is obviously upset by something. You ask what the problem is, but they won't tell you. Do you:

a) In your best Bugs Bunny voice, say, "Ehhh...What's up, Doc?"

b) Get miffed and spout, "We never talk anymore!"

c) Say, "It's okay, honey, tell me when you're ready," and stick around.

d) Mumble, "Whatever," and leave the room.

If you haven't already guessed, the most tactful answers are all "C". Depending on your personality, mood, or relationship with the person, "D" might be more tempting, but "A" and "B" are definitely not recommended.

== Summary ==

Tact is basically not that hard to learn - just keep others in mind and think before you speak or write. Watch other people's body language as well as your own. Be aware of situations that may require a level head and the right words to avoid heated arguments. Practice these details frequently and you'll keep more friends and make fewer enemies.

Learn more about this author, Len Morse.
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