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Standing up:
Getting up is harder than it should be, especially when rising up from a seat near ground-level. There is much turning and twisting and tugging to ensure than one's modesty is maintained. Standing up was never one simple elegant movement. It was such a mission to get up that it proved easier to beg other people to bring me drinks, instead of fetching them myself.

I hypothesise that this is why women seduce men into bringing them drinks. I played on other people's pity, but a woman plays on a man's sex-drive. If a woman accepts a drink from a man, it isn't because she actually has any interest him. She doesn't look so grateful because she wants to have sex with him. She's just thirsty, and the effort involved in getting up and fetching her own drink is far less than the effort involved in beating off some loser's misguided advances.

What does this raw data tell us?
1. Wearing a dress is more difficult than it appears.
Women pull it off quite gracefully, but men lack the necessary skills. Were men to regularly wear dresses and skirts, perhaps their skills would improve with practice. Unfortunately, no data is available to the author to support or refute this hypothesis.
It can, however, be concluded that a learning curve will have to be surmounted prior to men showing any level of competency in the art of graceful dress-wearing.
2. Anatomical problems
Wearing a dress or skirt presents a male with a unique set of problems that women do not experience. This alone probably fully explains why men don't wear skirts. Certainly, men could wear longer skirts which would keep their modesty in tact. Those are called kilts or sarongs, depending on the length, style and fabric. Men already wear those items without shame, and so such an option clearly does not pertain to the question at hand.
For our purposes a skirt is a relatively short skirt, and for men it just isn't a practical option without the risk of sterilisation.

In conclusion, the reason men do not wear skirts is because they are completely impractical. This begs the question: why do women wear skirts?

Learn more about this author, Neil Robinson.
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