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Humor: Owning a horse

by Brenda Adams

Created on: June 22, 2007

I am the proud mother of a fat spoiled fifteen year old brat. JR came into my life when I was just fourteen and he was a very green two year old. He is a nearly seventeen hand thoroughbred quarter horse mix. When I first laid eyes on him I thought he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Then, he started moving. He was the clumsiest most awkward thing on four legs to ever roam the face of this earth. I didn't care. Besides, he was just little more than a baby. I figured he would outgrow this awkward stage. NOPE!

Let me just explain a few things. I grew up on a cattle ranch and had only been exposed to one very cranky pony and numerous registered Quarter Horses. All (except the pony) were very mellow horses and literally bomb proof. For those of you who have ever owned a thoroughbred you know that they are the complete opposite. They are extremely intelligent, but feel the need to be entertained all the time.

So, JR entered my life and everything as I knew it changed forever. This horse is the nosiest animal I have ever met. He sticks his head everywhere it doesn't belong, and due to the enormous size of it, he often gets it stuck. Luckily, he doesn't panic easily, and we have avoided serious injury thus far. He has a tendency to open gates, not to let himself out, but to let others in with him. He somehow managed to get his head somewhere it didn't belong and ripped all the white hair out of his star. He walked around with a big bald spot in the middle of his forehead for weeks. He looked like an idiot, but he didn't seem to care. He got porcupine quills in his nose once, because he got a little too close when saying hello. He opens barn doors and gates, and gets into the feed, he terrorizes the dogs, and basically runs the barnyard. He loves cats. He loves the way their fur feels on his nose. He will stand for hours and rub his nose back and forth across a cat's back if he can find a feline who will stand still long enough. This brings me to the big humor.

We had a cat named Fred. He and JR were great friends. Fred was very tolerant of his large friend and the constant nose petting he always received. One day, I had JR in the arena, and the cat was out there with him. JR had been rubbing his nose vigorously back and forth across the cat's back. When Fred decided he had had enough, it was time for him to make his exit. As the cat started out under the arena gate, my horse did something that made everyone watching (especially my mom) scream in horror.

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