15 of 36

Write now Article Tools

Page 2 of 3

my wife. What would the public think? What will I do? Who will I become? Remember in the philosophy two of the four fears is the Fear of OPO "Other People's Opinion" and the Fear of Change.

As I made strides to leave the relationship, my ego kicked in and kept me stuck at that point of observation by telling me, 'I can change her. I can make her better than she was before, faster, stronger.' I can create the six million dollar woman or marriage - NOT! I had to get the hell out and fast or I would be completely consumed by the other person's self-destructive addictions!

MY MORNING EPHIPHANY

My morning meditation revealed to me that I am better than the behavior, better than the emotional addiction and that I have the power to rapidly shift from one point of observation or consciousness to another - to have a BREAKTRHOUGH QUANTM LEAP. I realized I deserved the best because I am the best - the best of what the Holy Spirit has created and has to offer. All of us deserve the absolute best! Period. But through years of emotional wear and tear, we make a conscious or unconscious decision to settle for less, play small and diminish our potential because of ANTS, WORMS & FEARS.

Now looking from the other side and a new, healthy point of observation, I realized how confused and disillusioned I was; I was addicted to someone who was addicted! After watching the movie, What the Bleep Do We Know, I now understand, I was chemically attached to my ex-brides pain. I also realized that I can't change anyone's behavior; I can only influence it through my actions and spiritual position. In talking with my spiritual mentors Rev. Jim and Sheila Gautreaux -Lee along with countless interviews with the world's greatest psychologists, psychiatrists and spiritual leaders, I realized quickly that I remained in that relationship far too long. I recall a funny conversation I had with Rev. Kevin Ross who wittingly said, "So what made you stay after you found out she had the first affair?" GULP! I was so embarrassed that I stayed through the four affairs that I actually found out about since September 2002 along with the $30,000 a-year addiction to online psychics, and the suicide attempts.

I TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY

By me staying in the marriage, I taught her that it was okay to cheat on me and to cheat again - 'he's not going anywhere so it must be okay' was the message I left her with. Since there is no consequence to my actions, then it must be right - I think I will cheat again and again

• << previous page
• 1
• 2
• 3
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about Dealing with emotional eating?
We want to hear your view. Write now!