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My Personal Battle with Emotional Addiction

As I sit here and write this article, I do so in the release of a deep psychological pain that I have been carrying around with me for at least the last four years. I realize I was the very person that I speak about in my seminars and in the movie What the Bleep Do We Know - I was addicted to self-defeating emotions. Worse yet, addicted to someone else's self-defeating emotions!

On March 15th, I filed for divorce and moved into my new apartment all in one day. As my nine-year marriage came to a crashing end, I realized how I made the utmost mistake in the marriage - I stayed too long!

I made the conscious and/or unconscious decision to remain in the marriage long after the emotional abuse began. I thought because of who I am and who and what I know that I could fix her/me and the marriage. Unfortunately, when someone decides to self-destruct; there is nothing you can do but work rapidly to try and break orbit, remove yourself from harms way and move to a new point of observation in your consciousness.

A few days ago, I had a powerful morning meditation and epiphany. I asked myself a "what if" question, 'If I were married to or in a relationship with Halle Berry, Rosario Dawson or Janet Jackson and they demeaned me, cheated on me four or more times, devastated me financially and attempted suicide to fear me into staying with them, would I stay with them even if they are supposedly the most beautiful, rich, high-profile women in the world?' The answer I came up with was a resounding, HELL NO!

But why then did I allow and accept that behavior from my former spouse? The philosophy says that I had a deep seated, self-defeating belief; better known as a WORM that convinced me somehow that I was not deserving of being in an honest, healthy relationship. Yes, my beloved, even mindset masters have ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts), WORMS (Deep Seated Unconscious, Self-Destructive Beliefs/Behaviors) & FEARS (Fear Of Success, Fear Of Failure, Fear Of Other People's Opinion, Fear Of Change)

The psychological reason for the sick acceptance of this behavior is called secondary gain which I discuss in my book, The wealth System. The quantum physics or What the Bleep reason for me staying in this toxic marriage is that I was addicted to the emotions of struggle, pain and suffering. I actually found some kind of morbid, emotional comfort in it. I was also afraid of the change that would be involved in filing for a divorce and leaving

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