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Alright, everyone, can we please start treating marriage as the permanent institution it was meant to be? When did we lose faith in our own judgment so completely? When did we so blindly allow society to influence our perceptions of marriage? A prenuptial agreement may be appropriate at times, but not for the majority of couples. If you have a family business which affects other members of your family, not just yourself and your new spouse, perhaps in that instance, a prenuptial can be used to protect the interests of those family/business members in the event of a divorce. It makes good business sense.

But for the other 99.5% of the population, should we begin a marriage with our protective instincts at full alert? I think not.

The basis of any good relationship is trust, wouldn't you agree? The very basis for the need of a prenuptial agreement negates the very need for that most necessary ingredient called trust. I would propose this, instead of prenuptial agreement - build a healthy, trusting relationship with common goals and values BEFORE you marry. A marriage requires the full attention and commitment of both parties in order to succeed. And, generally speaking, also requires the efforts of both parties to fail. Entering a partnership means that you are recognizing each other as equal partners.

If you are to truly a partnership, why do you need a prenuptial agreement, which essentially maintains division? This may seem like a rather simplistic viewpoint, however, trust itself is rather simplistic. You either trust, or you don't. There isn't much room for the murky gray areas.

Let me share with you a few pieces of advice given to me by couples who have been married for more years than I have been alive. Make sure you can be best friends with your partner, not sex buddies. Make sure you have common financial goals and that you both have an active role in achieving those goals. And always have a common respect for each other, regardless of whether you agree with one another at all times.

Call me old fashioned, but I believe in marriage and it's power to persevere through hard times if you follow these guidelines. And a strong marriage does not require a prenuptial agreement. Instead, for those marriages that do not make it, let us focus instead on the legal guidelines that have allowed unfair divorce settlements and long, drawn-out and expensive legal battles that cause so much emotional distress to both parties. And let's not forget the children who are forced to endure it along with us.

Change the laws to reflect a recognition of a partnership - make it so that each party gets half - and, perhaps, couples will not feel the need to enter into the most sacred covenant of marriage with their most selfish protective instincts at full throttle. You never know, perhaps if we express better judgment BEFORE we marry, maybe the divorce rate would go down.

Learn more about this author, C.L. Bennett.
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