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Parents who scream at their children are definitely out of control. Screaming at your child accomplishes absolutely nothing, it usually scares the child (or causes them to completely tune you out!), makes their behavior WORSE, and you just end up having a sore throat and being more upset!

I remember quite a few instances when my parents screamed at me as a child... I didn't focus on what I had done wrong, what they wanted me to do, or anything else. All I could hear was the loudness of their voices, the screaming they were doing... And it only served to scare and confuse me! Often, I'd dig my heels in and be that much more "contrary" because they were screaming, because it embarrassed me and hurt my feelings that they screamed. Or, I'd "freeze up", uncertain, because I was scared!

Do we scream at our friends, neighbors, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, etc.. whenever we feel they've done something wrong (whether it be to us, or just a bad decision on their part..)? NO... because it would serve absolutely no purpose, make the situation worse, make us look crazy, and it would hurt their feelings or make them angry. Why then, do it to our children? These small human beings who are easily frightened, who we are to protect until they are able to protect themselves? Why embarrass them or anger them, in a way that we'd never do to another adult?

I've felt myself losing control a few times with my own children... It's frustrating when you want your child to do something or to stop doing something, and they won't... But screaming won't help. I've found taking a "time-out" myself usually helps to calm me down, going to another room and screaming into a pillow, or just counting to twenty helps... Once I'm calm and can speak to my children in a normal voice, then I will bring the focus back to what I'd like them to do or stop doing.

Screaming never helps the situation, and definitely means the parent is completely out of control... Take steps to find that control again, and please use your self-control to find other ways to talk to and deal with your child!

Learn more about this author, Julie Vincent.
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