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As a father of five children, I've had ample opportunity to encourage my kids to exercise self-control. I can't be everywhere, and my wife (who homeschools all five) is often tired of being 'in charge' when I get home from work. We discovered that many problems that face parents are the result of letting things get out of hand rather than addressing them early.

When our kids were little, they all learned that we 'meant business' about playing with electrical sockets. We had a carbon monoxide detector in the kitchen that beckoned strongly to little minds with its intriguing red and green diodes. We found that if a mobile baby or young toddler was within about 4 feet of it, the lure was almost irresistible. One day I spent a frustrating five or ten minutes swatting the hand of my son, who persisted in touching the detector. Although we were tempted to simply move it, we had decided not to 'baby proof' our home, but rather to work on life-proofing our babies themselves.

Then we hit on the happy solution: "Walk away."

When our child would head toward the carbon monoxide detector, I would say, "No." If they approached it closely, I would sharpen my voice, move closer, and repeat: "No, No." If they reached for it, I would let them touch it, then swat the hand, and then turn them physically away from it, placing them down on the floor at least 5 feet from the wall. "Walk away, I would say." We repeated this sequence at least half a dozen times with each child before they learned the personal benefit of walking away.

We found that if a child could get some distance from the temptation, they could then exercise the self-control necessary to avoid it. Over time, this strength grows, so that several of my children learned to give electrical sockets (and a variety of other dangerous things) a wide berth. This skill of avoiding trouble by walking away is true for adults, why not children also?

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