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Does sucking up to your boss help your career? No, I don't believe that it does. Ultimately if your boss likes you and your performance, and believes that you are trustworthy, you will earn pay raises and more responsibility. If your boss has a negative disposition toward you, it doesn't matter how good an employee you are, you will never move ahead. Kissing up is also a sign of your own lack of confidence.

If your boss is confident in their own position, and has a positive attitude toward you, they will help you in achieving more responsibility, and you will receive more positive feedback and coaching from them. You will gain their confidence, and they will be open to your discussions and ideas. They will even try to help you move ahead, thinking that's best for the company. Perhaps they are holding you back, and they have the foresight to know that.

If your boss feels threatened by you because of your qualifications over them, despite that they are in a superior position than you, and that you have the ability to jump them for a promotion; your boss might do whatever it takes to keep you down. They will not coach you effectively in your position. They will not acknowledge positive actions that you have taken, and they will advise you of only the negative aspects of your performance. They will also be more standoffish and skittish in your presence, and not want to deal with you. It might even arrive at a point when your boss will railroad you into a written disciplinary performance review to hurt your career with the firm. However, I suggest that once you know that your supervisor has a negative disposition toward you, no amount of kissing up will help you and will only let your supervisor know how much power they genuinely have over you. You are kissing up to your boss, and your boss disrespects you for it. They may not show it outwardly, but they do.

There might be an underlying reason why you are kissing up to the boss. Are you uncomfortable with your tasks? Do you lack the self confidence to believe that you are capable of doing the work? Do you honestly believe that kissing up to your boss will make them like you better, or forgive your errors?

So, if you see a co-worker kissing up to the boss, it is probably because they don't have the total confidence in their work abilities, but are afraid to be more assertive. If their boss genuinely likes them, the boss will help them. If their boss doesn't like them, it will only make matters worse and the workplace will become dreaded for that employee.

Just be the best team player that you can. Live up to your qualifications, and if you need help, don't be afraid to ask for it. And if you think your boss doesn't like you, find a new place where you are comfortable. Be confident in your self. Confident and not cocky.

Learn more about this author, Adam Nierenberg.
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