by Bruce Pilgrim

Created on: June 16, 2007   Last Updated: November 19, 2010

It is not so much a matter of kissing up, but understanding where your boss is coming from. It is about recognizing the reality of the relationship and it is about managing your manager.

From the outset, you must recognize that your boss is the boss. You might feel that you are more talented, experienced, qualified, etc. Yet, none of that matters. The boss has the authority and you ignore that fact at your peril.

While you certainly don't have to be a yes man nor a suck-up, it is not a good idea to be negative, sarcastic, or confrontational. Your relationship with your boss is crucial to your career, and perhaps more importantly, your day to day well being. If you and your boss are at odds, you'll have to drag yourself to work each day, and you will be miserable.

It is almost always best to be upfront and honest. Tell your boss your career goals and ask for help in achieving these objectives. A good boss will be supportive, and willing to, in effect, train his replacement.

An insecure boss who is threatened by you won't help, and may even attempt to sabotage you. Sucking up to such a boss will have little or no positive effect. If you find yourself working for such a person, or if your boss actually expects you to kiss up, find another job - either inside the organization, or at another company.

Kissing up is demeaning for both your boss and for you. It is a lose, lose situation.

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