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Yes, I would think that kissing up to your boss is a must if you wish to advance in life, especially if that is what the boss requires. When people have created their businesses, they define the ethos, the values and the conditions under which that business will be maintained and will recruit its staff. An effective boss will be interested in what you are bringing to the job by way of qualifications, experience, expertise, skill and enthusiasm. He/She would be interested in nurturing you and bringing out the best in you in a fair and even way, not in having favourites or expecting to be treated in a certain way.

However, there are many bosses who lack confidence in themselves and their role, who like the power their role gives them over others, especially over vulnerable females, and who believe that being kissed up to is the mark of being the boss. In such cases, kissing up to the boss is the only way you are going to get ahead. If you do not wish to kiss up to anyone like that, then you are in the wrong place and should get out of there as soon as possible before you compromise yourself.

It might be difficult to gauge the ethos of an organisation when you first join it until you have been there for a little while. But bosses like to surround themselves with people who make them feel comfortable, who reinforce and affirm them, who make them feel worthy and in charge. If you are not prepared to do that for them, then you won't get ahead with such bosses and you can always go and create your own business and be the boss too. However, if kissing up is what the boss requires, and you wish to get into his/her good books and climb the corporate ladder, you need to start puckering up from now because he/she has the power to keep you right where you are if you don't!

Learn more about this author, Elaine Sihera.
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