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How much can you take? When i was 3yrs old my Auntie use to babysit me while my mother was out. Her boyfriend at the time use to come into my room at night, sneak to the bottom of the bed, crawl under the covers up towards me until he had my pants down and was using his fingers and mouth on my vagina. We moved from that town when i was 10yrs old. Moved up near my grandparents and other family. Everything was fine for awhile. My grandfather was the best man ever, he was so nice to me, he is my best friend. I am 1 of 27 grandchildren. Second eldest but eldest girl. Then i turned 12 and things started to change. My granduncle started flashing himself to me, hiding behind trees,sheds,cars, anywhere he could. My mum would ask if we could borrow a butter or something and i would have to go get it. He started grabbing me and kissing me while masturbating. I started to cry and told my mother i didn't want to go over there! I couldn't tell my mum what was going on we were not close and my dad wasn't around. Things went from bad to worse. He ended up grabbing me from the washing line while i was bringing in the washing. He started following me down to the lake where we use to swim hiding behind trees and shrubs then eventually he ended up swimming when i was and use to hold me under the water while trying to put his penis in my mouth. I remember gagging and being short of breath. I felt very dirty and started fighting at school, dropping grades and just blocking everything out. So 3months before i was 13yrs old i got my period. That Christmas he rapped me. I felt so ugly and dirty and i thought when everyone looks at me they will know. I didn't want to look at anyone in-case they new, well that's what i thought. This went on for 3yrs, when i was 15yrs old i got expelled from school for fighting, I had thoughts of killing myself so many times, But i then decided to run away from home. That was how i was going to get away from this sick man because he was our neighbor! I then ran away and that was when the rapping stopped. I then ended up with a boy and fell pregnant, i had my baby she was a girl. So now not only was i a baby with a baby i still had so many issues about what had happened. That relationship lasted 3yrs but i had to leave as he was physically abusing me. My life has not been easy by any degree, i then had two boys with another man who i was in a relationship with for 5yrs but things just weren't right. Relationships have just been so hard all my life. I've been robbed of so much! I then lost my grandfather 4yrs ago that was so hard. He was and still is the ONLY man i have ever had in my life that has not tried to hurt me. Out of all this it has made a even stronger women than i already was. I now know i am worthy of love, and that i am beautiful it has taken nearly 20yrs for me to be able to say that. I did confront the man that has done this to me, life can be hard, unfair , just down right ugly! So how much do we take before enough is enough? I use to live my life for my children and nothing else not now I'm living life with them... Please when you feel down just ask for help, there will always be a hand reaching back at you. You are not alone, and when you think people wouldn't even care if you were gone, wrong there are people out there that love you. I would have missed out on so much if i had chosen that way out. I'm glad i didn't and if i have to tell my story just to help 1 person then it's worth it. You only have one life so try and enjoy it you just never know what's around the corner.

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