When my brother got killed in a car accident 30 years ago, I was concerned about my parents and did not grieve his death. Then, one morning nine months later I woke up and could not move my body.

I was diagnosed with what is called delayed reaction, a depression caused from not grieving. After three weeks in the hospital,I went for therapy.

What do I remember about this illness? I remember people saying " snap out of it". We don't snap out of a disease that is a chemical imbalance of the brain.

Loved ones need to know that this is not a choice. No one chooses despair and hopelessness.

Depression is treatable with anti depressants. But the problem has no scientific process as the psychiatrist is guessing. I was lucky. The first medication worked for me. For many people, it takes more experimentation.

When the medication starts working, it is simply lifting the depression. Therapy is needed to explore strategies that will prevent this experience from happening again.

The greatest gift a family member can give a depressed person is support and empathy. It is an enormous challenge until the medication begins working. Patience and compassion please!

Learn more about this author, Joseph Wardy.
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