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Humor: Neighbors

by Burnsy

THY NEIGHBOR

"It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood,
a beautiful day for a neighbor.
would you be mine?
could you be mine?... "

Huh ?

Fred Rogers, better known as television's "Mister Rogers," was a cultural icon and kindly neighbor to generations of American children. He died February 27, 2003 at the age of 74 ... alone in a crack house from a drug overdose ... I'm just kidding of course, but these days you never know.

In fact, if Mr. Rogers moved in next door to you today and acted friendly towards your kids, I think it would be a slightly different scenario then what plays out on a children's television show.

Growing up I remember television shows always portraying families who appeared to be pretty well adjusted, and who seemed to be friends with all the neighbors. You know, friendly conversations over the fence, barbecues where everyone on the block shows up, borrowing things from each other geez, what planet does that take place on ? Do those places really exist ?

Perhaps a similar form of suburban utopia really does exist somewhere or maybe it was merely a fable in the first place, but one thing's for sure you can't control who your neighbors are.

When you buy a house it can be emotional turmoil as you do your best to follow all the proper steps, everything from getting the location you want, making sure the house is structurally sound, the financing is in place, all the purchase agreement conditions are met, the movers didn't break anything and just when it feels like you've covered all the bases and everything went as smooth as you could have hoped for, you step out on the deck of your new home to crack a beer and relax, feeling pretty smug that you pulled it all off without a hitch when out of the corner of your eye you spot something that somehow eluded you until now . in your neighbor's yard the unsightly display of fecies and empty liquor bottles everywhere, an old washer/dryer leaning up against the fence, a pit bull chained to a post (hopefully responsible for the fecies) which is now growling and barking menacingly, only then to be punctuated by the sonic blast of Rock Music forcing it's way out of a cracked and rotted basement window ..

It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?... (Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh !)

This hasn't been my personal experience yet, however it has been our experience that neighbors can be the trickiest people to


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