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Getting to know someone isn't just about asking "what do you do for fun?" It takes a lot of thinking and soul searching, and if you don't think so then you have a problem. A person is a complicated thing and we all come in different shapes and sizes, and even mindset. The task of finding a right person is a humongous one, has to do with a lot about what you want to do with life and how you deal with life. It's not just about how you look, how much money you make, or how good you are in bed. It's not just about bearing children and raising them and then have a husband. As always happens when we meet someone new and we fall in love, instantaneously, we focus 99% of our attention on him or her. All you think about is that person. You can't help it. That's just the nature of the beast. Everything we do or say is now dedicated for him or her only. In a way, this is a terrible thing to happen to someone. On the other hand, it is nice to have someone you like, like you back. The feeling of love for someone else and the need to be loved are overpowering. So once you meet a potential lover or partner, however you want to call it, the relationship absorbs you completely. All you think about is that person, and when something goes wrong, you're stuck in limbo. That's how it was for me when I was younger. I'm now 49 and find it quite comfortable for the first time to be in a relationship or just simply dating. How did this come about?

Growth and Transformation
A major factor, I believe, was my ability to grow and transform into a new person or being. It took a long time to get there, and though I continue to search for answers, I feel somehow like I've finally settled down so that I can just sit back and relax during what used to be such turbulent times. Of course I still experience a little bit of turbulence, but then I ask myself what I should do about it, and through a little bit of wisdom I've acquired along the way, I'm able to take a step back and reflect on the situation. There's plenty of room for personal growth, many issues to resolve, development of mind and body, and the whole world to explore. Don't stay at your level. Meet all kinds of people. Don't stick to your niche. Find something new to learn and experience. I must have ventured into dozens of experiences. Learning how to do things is a good way to improve your life. So that when I get into a relationship, I have plenty to share. I'm in a position of giving and not receiving.

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