I have improved my garden, my house, my dogs behavior, (I had to because he kept wiping his face on the wall after dinner) and now I have decided to improve whats left. This is, of course, myself.

Now, I can't afford a face lift, anyway it looks far too messy when performed on the television, and there are no evening classes near me to help with my endeavors, so I am going to have to rely on self help books and articles.

I am going to begin by streamlining my thinking system and then sending my brain for repair and maintenance via hemi-sync audio.

When I have finished that I shall practice the art of zen, yoga and qui gong. I am not sure exactly what this will involve but I think I will need a leotard.

Then, I am going to turn out my wardrobe contents and turf out any item that doesn't make me look like a Goddess. Actually, I may have to keep a couple of items or I am going to get cold.

I am going to study theology and philosophy and really, anything with an ology in it and become brilliant.

I shall learn to sing like a bird and dance like a ballerina. I will perform speeches as well as Churchill ever could and attract others like Rasputin used too.

Anyway, I am going to do all of that later because I'm busy right now dunking gingernuts in my tea. Oh rats, I just dropped one in. So, after I've got this biscuit out and watched my favorite program on the television I will definitely improve. I may have to walk the dog first...anyway, I will do it tomorrow perhaps when there's more time.

Learn more about this author, Heidi Marie Fleetfoot.
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