A Work In Progress

Change is not always predicated by something bad. Change is more
often affected by the need for something better! Change is the
natural on-going process of living according to knowledge we now
have. Knowledge that has been modified since the last time we looked,
especially if our goal is to form or preserve a relationship.

We all SAY we won't let our partner change us but, they will.
That's the natural evolution of things. There ultimately comes a
time when we can see the truth in their observation that chewing our
cud at the table is "oh, so gross!" We can do one of two things at
this point. We can either ignore the situation out of our stubborn
commitment to the premise that our partner is not going to change
us, (a real good way to tick them off), OR, we can set about trying
to find a napkin.

If we decide to cooperate, we discover that changing is hard.
Although we may have finally gotten it through our thick heads that
changing is a REALLY good idea, we find ourselves failing, over and
over again. And, true to form, if the effort becomes too
burdensome, we give up! (Mooove over Bessie, I'm being set out to
pasture)!

Did you ever wonder why it is so difficult to change? There are
actually physiological reasons behind this phenomenon.
Understanding the way our brain functions can give us the
appropriate insight to fully prepare ourselves for the concerted
effort it will take to navigate through this process.

We already know that our brains are storehouses for millions and
gazillions of pieces of information. In order to preserve space for
learning, our brain has the ability to "compress files." Yep, just
like a computer. But, certain information takes priority over
others. Like your partner's cell phone number, for instance. When
you tell your brain "I need that information and, oh man, I need it
NOW," it brings the file forward. Tell it enough times and it brings
the file even further toward the fore-front. Soon, it becomes
an "A" file. ("Whew, I'm not going to forget THAT number again!)

There are other pieces of information that the brain treats in a
special way, as well. Some of these include instructions for
walking, writing, opening up a cell phone quickly, using the turn
signal on the car. (You DO use the turn signal, don't you?)

Because these instructions are so imperative for our daily
activities, (so that we can look cool while we walk and chew gum at
the same time), the brain

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