When One Is No Longer Enough

In one of my drunken stupors following amputation of my leg many years ago, I seriously contemplated what it would take to become a one-legged ballerina. While in a fogged state of mind many things can seem possible including the ability to stand upright on one leg and dance.

Much of my time during those dark days was spent on the floor crawling to bed. You see as a one-legged drunk you can't stagger down the hallway, hitting the walls from side to side. Instead, you just end up face down crawling on all three limbs-if you have that many left.

These days, compulsive behavior seems to have become a way of life. The vast majority of the population seems to be excessive in one way or another. Some excesses, such as workaholics, religious zealotry and the drive to overachieve, are touted as positive even though our health and relationships might very well suffer. We can also think of others, such as the excessive use of drugs and alcohol, overeating, overspending, gambling and watching television, as undesirable and bad for our physical and mental health.

During times of crisis there is a tendency to increase destructive behaviors in order to experience relief from overwhelming emotions. As a result of the ongoing anger, depression, frustration and pain of chronic illness or major physical loss, an exceptionally high percentage of seniors become addicted to drugs or alcohol or both.

Very often we can begin the road to drug addiction quite innocently. We are first provided with drugs for pain during our medical recovery. If the recovery process is lengthy or requires numerous surgeries, we risk becoming addicted to pain medications without even realizing it. The line between nonaddictive and addictive use of medications is a fine one, and the fact that physicians prescribe them makes rationalizing an addiction all too easy.

When we are being treated by more than one physician, drugs may be administered freely by several, making it even easier to build up a stockpile. Either by choice or without awareness, our usage of drugs moves from minor to moderate use and sometimes more.

With time, the tolerance to pain medications increases, and more medication for the same effect is needed. Over a long period of time, this tolerance usually reaches a point where no medication is strong enough.

As the need for pain medications increases, our ability to live a normal life diminishes. Medication becomes an

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