What Do You Want to Be

I was the kid who never could answer the dreaded question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Now that I'm older and I know there are millions of other jobs besides doctor, lawyer, teacher, and astronaut, I really feel lost. As a kid, I had no idea there was so much to choose from, and now that I'm older, I almost wish there weren't so many to choose from. How do you choose just one? How do you know it will be the right one? This is way too much pressure to put on a kid's head. It's not just a matter of picking any job, because you have to consider whether or not you'll have any real talent for it, whether your personality is really suitable for it, what the salary is going to be like (after all, everybody wants to be a millionaire), the availability of such jobs, etc.

The "go for the money" approach may work for some people, but not me. I've had jobs where I made a pretty nice salary, but then I left because the stress had too high a price. I once had a government job which had plenty of potential for upward mobility, but the day to day politics-people twisting their words, dodging answers, and just outright lying-was difficult to deal with. The racism, sexism, and the cut-throat nature of some of the people I worked with just didn't make sense to me. I'm a straight-forward and honest person with a relatively easy-going personality so I stood out like a sore thumb-I just couldn't operate under the modus operandi.

Before long, the headaches became migraines and the occasional stiff neck escalated into frequently waking up in the morning to find my entire body racked with pain. After the second dizzy spell which nearly caused me to pass-out in the parking lot at work, I'd decided enough was enough-either I go, or the job goes. I'll be damned if I go. No job is worth dying for. I remember being so over-joyed when I landed that job, and the sigh of relief that I'd finally figured out what I was going to be when I grew up,...and that made giving it up the hardest decision I've ever made in my life...but I did it.

After I ditched my "good job" with the government, I was once again faced with the question of "What do you want to be when you grow up?", since what I thought I wanted to be was wrong. I spent some time driving a bus at an airport to clear my head, but not without watching my entire life get turned upside-down because of the severe cut in income. Still, it was nice to not wake up with migraines

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