by Salg

Created on: June 13, 2007

With the exception of those for whom in-person relationships are excruciatingly painful and anxiety provoking, I cannot imagine anyone believing that cyber relationships are taking precedence over the more traditional in the flesh relationships. The communities developed on the internet, much like the one on which you are reading this, are just alternate avenues to a wider base audience or circle of friends. I do not believe internet use is anymore addictive than the pen-pal writing of elementary and middle school years. The response time, and therefore the gratification, can be immediate which increases the amount of interactions. There is a sense of anonymity, if you so choose, that may make people bolder and allow them to try out different parts of their personalities which they would otherwise keep hidden so as not to be judged. Is this a bad thing? It depends; there are less than scrupulous people in the cyberworld, just as there are in every neighborhood, church and business. The amount of people you can connect with is immense when compared to Suburb, USA; which increases the risk of coming in contact with derelicts and miscreants. However, internet use also increases your opportunity to develop relationships with people who are like-minded or in some manner able to meet your individual relationship needs. Virtual relationships can span the geographical, cultural, and social boundaries by which in person relationships are often confined and defined. I've yet to see the negative in this opportunity.

All relationships serve a purpose in our lives; they help us feel loved, wanted, neglected, important, misunderstood, etc. The essence of all our relationships combines to help us develop a sense of humanness. That sense of humanness allows us to be able to better interact with others when we are face to face (and I do not mean via videophone or web-cam). I hear the rally cry of concerned adults that pedophiles can come into every home and take advantage of any child creating a larger number of victims. I can see that unsupervised use of a computer can lead to troubling situations for minors, but the problem lies in their being unsupervised not in their desire to create relationships. The internet is not the problem in the case of children lured by sexual deviants, but rather our judicial system which cannot adequately handle the pedophile and parents who are not supervising the computer usage of their children are confounding this societal dilemma. Those same screaming adults should be looking to what these children are seeking out on-line and attempt to fulfill their emotional and social needs in person, so that they are not left to their own devices.
As for the cheating argument, that is a personally defined term that differs in every relationship. Far too frequently it is not defined within the relationship until after one party feels betrayed. In my own personal definition of cheating I view being dishonest with a partner about any part of our relationship as cheating- be it physically or emotionally. However, if you are honest about your online relationships with your "real life" significant other I do not see how betrayal comes into play. At the end of the day the internet provides a means to an end, it is up to the user to determine to what end they will use this tool and the relationships it allows them to create.

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