by Zach Bigalke

Created on: June 13, 2007

In the episode "Treehouse of Horror VI", the fictional community of Springfield is plagued by an electrical disturbance in the universe which causes large store mascots to come to life and terrorize the town. Giant statues, suddenly animated, wreak havoc across the city. Lisa Simpson, always pragmatic, turns to the advertising agency that created the fifty-foot advertisements for advise on how to stop the destruction. The solution? "Just don't look!" A catchy jingle, courtesy of Paul Anka, convinces the citizens of Springfield to turn away and ignore the behemoths - because once advertisements are ignored, they go away.

Currently, the American media is being tormented by a fifty-foot eyesore that continues to destroy the fabric of our society. This monster? Paris Hilton, the trust-fund baby of the Hilton hotel chain...

Hilton continues to find her way into print and broadcast media. But she is doing nothing beneficial for our society. The stories abound about binge drinking, recklessly putting others' lives in danger as she plods her way down the highways of America. This pseudo-celebrity is given far too much leeway by a press searching for sensationalism to sell its product. In return, Paris continues with her destructive ways, fueling another round of spectacle.

With wars being waged on two fronts, over forty million Americans living in poverty, and a government mired in partisan politics, there is plenty of worthwhile news to enlighten the populace in a meaningful way. Yet the media continues to look instead at the misadventures of a spoiled socialite. Paris stomps her feet and finds her way out of jail sentences. The average American, if placed in the slammer, has no such recourse.

The only way to stop this monster is to ignore her. Until the print media heeds the words of Matt Groening and company and JUST DOESN'T LOOK, Paris will continue to be granted free passes unavailable to the rest of our citizens. We should be focusing our attention on the substantive issues of the day. But unless the press wakes up and shuts its eyes to the self-destructive behaviors of this nefarious trollop, the fifty-foot eyesore that is Ms. Hilton will perpetually destroy the fabric of this sleepy little burgh we call America...

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