Until I was 12 years old I thought my father was the greatest man in the world. I remember coming home from a family vacation with my mom and brother and being so excited to see my father and show him all my mosquito bites. Soon after arriving home my world and image of my father were both shattered.

My older cousin revealed to me that my father had been trying to seduce her while my mother was away with us. I remember the first time my father touched me after I had heard that news. I was in the kitchen doing dishes and he passed by and placed his hand at my waist. It must have been something he was accustomed to doing, but this time I stiffened under his touch. I remember him looking at me in such a strange way. I don't remember him touching my like that again. The contrast between my feelings for him before and after the "news" was stark.

The "news" was revealed to the whole family and we went through a few days of uncertainty, where my mom left the house I thought for sure she would come back and take us to a new life. I was wrong. She returned home and life continued as usual. Not for me.

I learned many things from that experience. One of them is that to have a good father daughter relationship you just need to be the best man that you can be. Girls naturally adore their fathers. You just have to maintain and nurture that built in love.

Be good to your daughter's mother. That will show her what to expect from adult relationships. Talk to your daughter. Listen to her. Include her in your activities. Have fun with her. Create special rituals with her even if it is just ice cream on a Saturday night, or washing the car together. Pamper her and do special things for her. Cut her nails. Brush her hair. Spend special time alone with her regularly. Take her to a movie or for a slushy at the corner store. Go look for four leaf clovers. Study the shapes of the clouds.

Show affection. Hug her and kiss her. Let her see light in your eyes when she enters the room. Let her know that she is special and will be great.

Remember that your relationship with her will be the foundation for all her other relationships with men. Make it good so that she can have good in the future.

Learn more about this author, Olivia Aroma.
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