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Satire: Politics

Dear Mr. Rove:

I am in shock and awe of your brilliance. The manner in which you've convinced the President and his political entourage to limit their discussion on pertinent issues by reciting a litany of paranoiac terrorist fantasies must be memorialized in University political science courses as the optimal manner in which to influence a discerning public. Frankly I'm shocked the press hasn't nicknamed part of your strategy, " the theology of playing to personal fear."

As a business professional, I'm dumfounded by the loyalty your methods have invoked from Alberto Gonzales, Harriet Miers, Scooter Libby, Tim Griffin, Colin Powell, and countless others. The willingness of professionals such as these to embarrass themselves for the your cause of the moment is impressive. I watched the Gonzales testimony before Congress, and immediately asked myself aloud how a man of such a retarded level of intellect, and who can't remember to recall or recall to remember, could have passed the Texas Bar Exam! Now that's loyalty!

I have to admit what a deep affection I have for your methodology. Exploiting the neuroses of an aging populace for political ends is simply black-belt clever. When Bush was up for re-election in 2004 it was a stroke of genius to deter the American public from the search for Osama Bin Laden by focusing media attention on the depravity of gay marriage. And your understanding of the meaninglessness of the underpinnings and reasons to go to war in Iraq must be applauded-"we're there so it doesn't matter how we got there"you must have John McCain's support. You, Cheney, and Rumsfeld must be proud of how you have reversed the perceived mistakes of the Vietnam pullout with the occupation of Iraq.

In particular you must be the only political advisor to redefine the historical political advantage of military heroism by directing comrades of John Kerry to take the term "Swift Boat" from a noun to verb and finally to gerund phrase. It boggles the mind how effective you must be when you make a medal of honor winner look like he was ill-prepared to be a grocery clerk, and an oft times AWOL drunken rich kid, who never saw combat, look like his military career was perfect. What a benefit to have swift boated Kerry and popular political reporter Dan Rather nearly simultaneously. Your strategy so deeply cut Mr. Kerry's credibility he has a ready apologia for any potential gaffs he may commit-Mr.'s Bush and Cheney have such a stockpile of political capital they can flip off their annoyances with nary a media ripple.

I profess I am having problems of late discerning where reality ends and fantasy begins-for example, am I to believe I am made safer from terrorism by making more terrorists in Iraq, or our failure to reach closure on the Taliban in Afghanistan? Is Monica Goodling one of the best and brightest attorneys in the land because she graduated from Pat Robertson's Regent College or because she took the fifth regarding her testimony on the politics of firing eight US Attorneys? And how many whistle blower cases were filed against KBR and Halliburton in the jurisdictions of the U.S. Attorneys you wanted fired? I'm concerned all of your success may be causing you to lose sight of what we Republicans have desired since FDR-a permanent Republican majority. You are correct, however, when thinking the press can never be right enough!

You Raq!

Rajeed Ahmenoteph

PS.-Could you settle a bet between my wife and I? Is Richard Cheney a Dick or a Richard?

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