When parenting multiple children, one of the challenges that all parents face is how to make each child feel special without causing the other children to feel left out. Though at times this may seem very difficult- especially if your children are close together in age- it is certainly doable. Here are some ideas to keep in mind:

1. Though your children are all equal in value, they are not necessarily equal in rights or privileges. As children get older they should be given more privileges and more responsibilities. For example, older children should be able to go to sleep later because they need less sleep. This acknowledges a child's age, and it gives the younger children something to look forward to.

2. Being "fair" doesn't mean that everyone gets the same- it means that everyone should get what he or she needs. This means that if one child needs a new pair of shoes, you shouldn't go out and buy shoes for everyone else. This is a very important lesson to give over to your children.

3. Everyone equals no one. Try to pay attention to how many times you treat your children as a group. "Everyone into the car... Everyone, it's time to go to sleep now... Everyone, come eat!"

With these guidelines in mind here are a few ideas on how to make each child feel special:
1. Greet each child individually when they come home from school or when you come home. Here it's important to call them by their names.

2. Have a time in the day when each child knows he can talk to you. Bedtime is usually very good place for this to happen for children eight and under. For this reason you could try staggering the bedtimes so that younger children are put to bed earlier then the older ones and each child can have a private ten minutes with his mother or father.

3. Be aware of what is happening in your child's life, and talk about the things that interest him. Do your kids collect anything? What are their hobbies? What do they enjoy doing? Where are they struggling? Get to know the names of the kids in your four-year-old's preschool class. Ask your ten year old how his test went. This kind of interaction need not take a lot of time; it's the focused attention that's important.

Learn more about this author, Simi Brown.
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