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Along with moving home, getting married can be one of the most stressful things a person ever chooses to do. With a huge lead up time and a horrendously long list of things to organise, the fall out of that stress can hit friends as well as those directly involved.

As a friend of one (or perhaps both) of the affiancd it's your job to minimise this stress without becoming too involved, yourself. Much of the work, even in this modern age, falls to the bride, her parents and the best man. Assuming you're not one of those, it's important to reassure your friend and help them view the wedding as a happy day, not a source of pain, frustration and annoyance.

A few guidelines towards acheiving this:

Be there for your friend, and be sure that they know this. You might get irrate phonecalls after the third catering company has dropped out, or need to offer your view on which wedding stationery is the best, but stay calm when your friend rants. If you can offer a serene demeanour it will rub off on them and as a calming influence your thoughts and opinions will be extremely appreciated.

Make sure that anything you're asked to do is done promptly and carefully. Check your instructions without being overly pedantic, and ensure that when a task is done your friend is happy with the outcome.

Offer honest, but tactful opinions. Most married couples had doubts at some time in the run up to their big day - should they get married at all? Is it worth all the hassle and effort? Be sure to listen carefully and help allay any such fears. Try to remind your friend that this is about their life with their partner, not only the one day.

Get familiar with information about weddings yourself - talk to family and friends and see if they have recommendations. If your friend is stressed over what florist to use they're going to appreciate a pointer to one that comes with recommendations. Also, your friend will be so tied up organising things they might not have time to read around wedding planning themselves. You could make small suggestions - About.com suggests that the couple have a "No Wedding" evening every so often, in order to unwind and spend time together. It's a great idea, maybe one you can sell to your friend, but will they be spending their time looking out for such advice? Maybe not!

Don't be a busybody. Don't let anyone think you're trying to take over or give them the impression of being crowded. Remember, you're just trying to de-stress them and avoid the results of that stress hitting you! Maybe the best thing you can do is take your friend out for an evening and help them shrug off the responsibility temporarily.

Finally, make sure that you do all you need to. There's nothing worse than giving plenty of good advice and seeming well prepared and organised, then screwing up something simple that you should have done. Have your clothes planned and your transport organised. Buy your friends a present in advance if gifts are expected, and make sure you don't double book yourself.

For your friends it's an entire lifetime together, for you it's the build up to one day. Remember that the best thing you can do is not get stressed, and help others stay calm as well. And if that takes the repetition of a quiet mantra of "It'll be over soon" so be it! Just make sure your friends don't overhear you!

Remember, at the end of it all there's a big party - and who doesn't enjoy partying?

Learn more about this author, Max Lehmann.
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