In order to improve oneself, you must first be able to find your faults. Not an easy task to identify your own faults. To start with my own, the list is long, I'll just hit the highlights. Stretch marks, hair color, fat thighs, round middle, for the temporal. Short temper/lack of patience, tendency to feeling blue on the spiritual.

Stretch marks, fat thighs and round middle, those are a badge of honor for all those babies I carried! All mommas ought to look like mommas when they've carried as many babies as I have. You ought to be able to look at me and say, "Wow! That is a real woman, she's quite a momma!" But for those of you who would rather not see my stretch marks, fat thighs and round middle, you can feel relieved I will not show them to you. I sport modest clothing, skirts and dresses to smooth my momma lumps and bumps, all long enough to spare you the vision of stretch marks decorating my midriff.

For hair color I've been blessed with premature gray. I was quite young when my hair started to turn, so I started to color. If a girl is forced to color her hair starting at a young age she ought to be able to choose her own color, so I defy you to determine the true hue. Oh, I stick within one color family, but which shade is real? My license sports one of my worst phases of experimentation, henna, what was I thinking? Now I'm stuck with that photo for nearly 5 more years. But most inconvenient part of my hair is that I'm stuck dying forever. And it is such a nuisance to do so, I must skulk around and do it in the wee hours of the day or late at night to spare my offspring the chemical head rush. My poor husband is stuck between a rock and a hard place, he feels compelled to compliment my efforts, even when my hair turns orange, like my last attempt. I could shave my head. But that wouldn't be very feminine would it? Now I've taken to trying my hand with up-dos, sporting looks which hide the gray roots and exhibit the colored ends. How long can I keep this up? One can only wonder.

Short temper/patience, it is a fault to be worked upon. What works well for cranky mommies? C-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e! But then that leads us right back to the fat thighs and round middles. I just cannot win! Incidentally chocolate is also a balm for the blues. No wonder I'm so round!

Learn more about this author, Lily A. Thorns.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: Self improvement?
We want to hear your view. Write now!