As the mother of a large family, ranging in ages from toddlers to teenagers, I have discovered it is possible to get sleep. When you become a mother the baby demands that you are constantly available for his needs. Trying to fight this results in an unhappy baby and two parents who are exhausted.

Being a mother who stays home with her children I find that the babies are the happiest when you work around their schedule. God has entrusted this tiny soul to your care, and you must cater to him, providing his every need, on demand, so he will thrive.

When my first child was born, well meaning relatives and friends tried to convince me that my needs were more important. "You cannot be a good mother if you do not take care of yourself first." This point of view is understandable because a mother cannot care properly for her children unless she is healthy, but an infant cannot play second fiddle to mamas needs. The infant will not blossom.

How does a new mother reconcile her needs for sleep with the care of an infant? Simple, keep the baby happy. What makes a baby happy? Being with mommy. Smelling mommy. Hearing mommy's heartbeat. Nursing at mommy's breast. Sleeping on mommy's chest. The first two or three weeks you will not get much rest because you and baby are getting used to one another. But you will get the most rest when you keep that infant attached to you in one way or another, nearly 'round the clock.

Well meaning friends and relatives tried to dissuade me from holding on to my babies. If you look at how women in the 1940's were instructed to care for their children, it is entirely opposite of what I have said. Women were told to let the baby cry as it is good for them to learn early that they are to get used to the family schedule. Women were told not to hold their babies because it would spoil them. They also started their babies on cereal, in the bottle, mixed with formula, sometimes as young as three weeks. The purpose of this was to fill the belly so the baby would sleep longer. I held true to what my 'mama bear instinct' was telling me.

Many of your well meaning friends will try to dissuade you because they are from generations of babies raised this way, and after all they turned out okay. But, I caution you to look into the health of these adults raised in this manner. I suggest to you that stomach ailments are related to having cereal too young. Depression, psychiatric ailments, failures in life could possibly be attributed to not receiving enough nurturing as an infant. One need only research the orphaned infants in some countries formerly known as the USSR to see the devastating effects of not enough nurturing. That of course is an extreme case, but you can draw an association from the extreme to the average.

The best advice anyone can give you is to follow your own mama bear instinct despite the advice of friends and family, and sometimes even doctors. Baby is happiest against mama's warm body. You can nurse your infant in bed, while sleeping. You and your husband will adjust to having the baby between you. Your baby will be secure and will develop into the family routine when he is ready to, and he will do so sooner when he receives all the mama love he needs to thrive and blossom into a beautiful toddler gradually growing into his own independent man.

Learn more about this author, Lily A. Thorns.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Survival tips for new parents: How to get extra sleep while caring for babies?
We want to hear your view. Write now!