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self-control is to make him wait for just the shortest period of time for something he wants. For example, when a seven-month old cries for his bottle if his mother pops her head in the bedroom door and says, "I'll go get it. Wait just a minute," and if she returns quickly he'll gain experience waiting for just a little while. He may not understand "I'll go get it" right away, but he'll figure out that when she says that she disappears for a couple of minutes and comes back with the bottle. A hungry seven-month old shouldn't have to wait for ten minutes, and he certainly won't have the patience to do that, but if his mother just disappears for three minutes he may actually spend those three minutes trying to figure out what she meant when she said, "I'll go get it," His brain will gain experience with wanting something, getting some response, waiting for a few minutes, and then getting what he wants. Again, this interrupts the automatic "cry/get a bottle immediately" process and causes a few things to go on in his brain that will eventually contribute to self-control.

When a mother requires a toddler to hold her hand as they walk through a store she can explain, "You have to hold my hand in here so I won't lose you." His brain gets the experience of putting together the idea that in this particular place there is the hand-holding rule. He gets to have experience not running wherever he wants to run even though he may wish he could. Being required to hold his mother's hand doesn't have to feel restrictive to him, though, because seeing what there is to see in the store as he holds his mother's hand can still be fun for him. He can learn that he can also have fun when he's not "running wild". Gaining experience having a nice, fun, time without "running around crazy" helps him to learn that having fun doesn't always require running around. This makes him a little more receptive to activities that may involve a limit or two.

For older toddlers/preschoolers, having a few simple rules like, "We need to keep the crayons in the kitchen, not in the living room" helps their brain get practice in understanding that crayons could ruin the rug, and there is a rule about them. (Again, a child can have plenty of freedom even with the "no-crayons-on-the-rug" rule.) Unlimited freedom and no limits whatsoever will result in a child's behaving in a way that's not as extreme but similar to the way Helen Keller did at five years old.

Once the child is over two-and-a-half or so his

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