When my husband and I married a toast was made by my brother-in-law, who was also my husbands best man. He said, "Here is to you and your ready-made-family!"
My husband thought it was kind of an odd toast to be made.I realized the sentiment in it not too long ago.

He was referring to my children I already had when we got married and our own child we has just a month before our wedding.When my husband and I met,my son was just turning two and my daughter was five. They both have different fathers, my daughters father is from Puerto Rico, and my sons father is African American. My husband did not care one bit, he loved them because they were mine.

At one point before we were married, I felt the strongest need to have a baby with him. We loved each other and I knew he would be a good father because he was already showing it through my own kids. He had told me, my kids were enough for him and they were all he wanted. Plus the fact that he did not want to get married after being divorced twice. He believed in marriage before having children.Despite our efforts to control getting pregnant, I became pregnant with our first baby. He was overjoyed about it when I told him. Though he did not plan for it to happen he excepted it with a happy heart.We were married less than two years after we met but he was my kids father long before I wore that pretty white dress.

My daughters father was not in her life that much and he let her down one to many times. She still insisted on seeing him, though he would break her heart by showing up late or not at all. Everyone told me she would one day figure it out for herself that he did not care.She is now almost fourteen and the only reason she bothers with her biological dad is to try and get money from him! She knows that he is selfish and does not really care about her or what she is doing. Some children might be scared for life by this realization. Unless they have someone who has taken the place of the real thing and is much better than the real thing!

My husband has taken over the role as her father with no complaints and loving it! He considers her his daughter and she considers him her father. I enjoy seeing the love in his eyes for her. The way they interact with each other is real love between a father and his daughter. He is always there for her and is the typical protective father, that sometimes makes me laugh! He will not hear of her being his "step-daughter" in fact I hate referring him as her step-dad in school forms and such. Because he is her "real dad" and we would not have it any other way.

The same goes for my son, who is now ten-years-old. He is my husbands only son and he does not think of him as anything else. My sons biological father has not been in his life at all for over three years and before that it was sporadic. He hardly knows his biological dad. He has known my husband as his dad almost his whole life. He don't even talk about his biological father or ask about him. In the past he has hid when he came around. My husband is his "real" dad and the only dad he wants. He knows my husband loves him and considers him his son.

The sentiment of the toast my brother-in-law gave was: My husband already had a family to love before he was even married.He knew just how his brother felt about "his" kids.He had his family already and marrying me just sealing the gap.
It is not only possible to have a happy blended family,it is possible to have a real family!

Learn more about this author, Shannon Brendlinger.
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