Ah, high school. I just got an invitation to my fortieth high school reunion. I guess I better get my tux rented. Yeah, right. High school for me was not a great time. I was very tall and very skinny. I had acne. I loved to study. By today's vocabulary I was a nerd.

I was popular in one way; I was the class clown; but, I had two pairs of pants; both black. Kids think you never change them.

I remember we had a senior "dress-down" day; the second to the last day of school. I stayed up the night before putting together an incredibly funny outfit. I had high-water pants; black dress shoes with white socks; a bow tie; and, a white shirt with stains all over. This ensemble was all pulled together by a sport coat that was three sizes too small. I went to school wanting to compare outfits with the other kids. I was looking forward to a fun day!

When I first got to school, on my way to my locker, I had to go through the foyer. There in the foyer was the "in crowd" of the prettiest girls. They were all wearing the same thing; madras blouses. MADRAS BLOUSES! What lemmings! What total lack of creativity or guts. I was appalled. To think I used to pant after these "cardboard queens". I just laughed to myself. Yeah, I won the prize for the best outfit. The real prize I won, though, was to graduate and be freed from that group of mental midgets. I'd been in a social prison for four years.

I left everyone a graduation gift. The last day of school seniors traded yearbooks and wrote sentiments. You know, "Levy!"; "To a Winner"; "Whatta Jock!"; "Whatta Hottie". As I received each book I wrote "May you aspire to your greatest aspirations" which of course was a virtual oxymoron. They didn't know or care. What they may have cared about later was the dab of glue I covertly dribbled on a page of their book. I thought it was apropos; most of them were stuck on themselves.

Mmmm. Now let me see. Do I RSVP my regrets or not? Perhaps I should make personal phone calls; or a personal handwritten note telling the reunion committee how happy I was to hear from them. Nah! Now just where did I leave that glue stick?

Learn more about this author, Gary Davis.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: High school?
We want to hear your view. Write now!