I am writing to figure out just how close should you be to your "In-Laws". I am particularly speaking about my mother-in-law.

I love her dearly, but it has not always been that way. We started out very rocky and did not even care to be around each other until I was giving birth to her grandson. I guess I should also add that I am a step-mother to the oldest grandson.

That was and currently is our situation. We have been working on our relationship for the past 5 years. It has been one emotional trip after the other. Highs and lows, trust and distrust. She feels that she need to put her nose into the situation regarding the parents of the oldest grandson, my step-son. It is not an ideal situation, but my husband and I are doing everything that we can to do our part and what is right.

My mother-in-law is a great grandmother, she has potential to be a great mother, but she does not butt out. It is irritating, and it causes additional issues for our "situation". The biological mother tries to by pass my husband with decision making and call my mother-in-law. After making agreements with my mother-in-law that she would not interfere or at least notify us, she constantly "gets in the middle".

It has soured the relationship between her and I, as well as my husband. I am speaking greatly more so for myself, because I valued her as a mother to me instead of a mother-in-law. Being brought up in foster care and losing my biological mother and grandmother at an early age, I thought that finally after all the lose and her and I building relationship that was going good, we would be close.

My husband keeps telling me that maybe our relationship is not supposed to be close like that. I get hurt. I wish it was... or am I wrong?

Any advise/stories would be awesome.

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