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My brother's marriage is on the rocks. Or rather, I think it'd be more appropriate to say it was on the rocks; now it's already fallen off the rocks. It's pretty much as good as over, 'cos a divorce is in the works. All that stands in the way to the actual divorce now are the legal proceedings, and well, a certain significant amount of money that (1) Bro had stupidly let his wife Jean spend on credit, and (2) that had been embezzled from their company funds for Jean's personal uses.
The thing is, this whole situation has gotten me thinking a bit. I was thinking of how Jean has totally become the villain here. She's the one who has spent Bro's money like he owns a gold mine. She's the one who has embezzled the company funds. And she's the one who has deprived Bro of a sex life for the past year. Hence, she's the villain, and the majority of fault lies with her in this case.
...Or does it? Is she really the villain, without a doubt?
I read Jean's blog, on and off. She hasn't exactly blogged about this love mess between Bro and her, but of the few entries in which she subtly complains about it, I can see that she's putting the blame on Bro.
And who can blame her for that, really. My brother's far from perfect. He has his own faults, but again, who doesn't. Yet what makes me take a step back here, is precisely my ability to see and realise, that it is a general human fault for people to make someone else the villain, instead of themselves. Or at best, what people do these days in the attempt to make themselves look less stubborn and manipulative, is to simply go, "Ok, so maybe part of it is my fault. But the biggest baddie of all is still him/her!"
Typical phenomena.
So, back to where I am, with my third party point of view. I've only heard Bro's side of the story, and know the other bits and pieces from Mom's narrations. To be honest, I haven't heard anything that would really depict Jean's point of view. That's why I'm not a hundred and ten percent on Bro's side here. How can I, when I've only heard one side of the story? One biased side?
Though I definitely agree, heart and soul, that Bro and Jean get divorced, that is only because I personally don't see Jean as a great person who knows how to fit into our family. Her character doesn't seem to click with us. It's not her fault that she is just who she is, but still, it's like she's on a completely different channel and wavelength from our family. On whether she really is the true villain here though, I'm just giving the benefit of doubt to everyone.
People generally can't see their own faults, especially the big ones. In a case such as a divorce, Husband may see Wife's one big flaw which he think is the key factor that led to the divorce. But Wife, on the other hand, may see Husband's one big flaw which she thinks is the very element that makes Husband intolerable. It's a vis-a-vis thing, and it's neverending.
So who am I, as a third party, to say for sure who's the real villain, in such a situation where I'm only getting info from one biased source?
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Reflections: Divorce
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