by Bridget Webber

Created on: June 06, 2007   Last Updated: September 06, 2011

You may think that the art of conversation is best left to those seemingly gifted individuals who are known for having 'the gift of the gab'. But this is not so. Making conversation and new friends is a skill that can be learned. Granted, some people seem to do it naturally and effortlessly, but this is because they picked up the skill early on and have had plenty of practice.

If you are a person who would describe themselves as a wallflower, perhaps spending too long lurking in the kitchen at parties avoiding mingling, then try some of these tips on how to begin conversations and make new friends.

If you are at a party, for example, and want to begin to join in with others conversations but don't know anyone, then try looking out for a group of people who are displaying open body language. If people have their back to you and are in a tight group give them a miss. Open body language is where they are standing loosely as opposed to huddled, and using open gestures such as holding their palms upwards and smiling.

If you can engage their glance all the better as this is a good point of contact. When they see you smile and approach, perhaps holding out your hand to shake theirs whilst you introduce yourself, or try a less formal approach by simply saying "Hi, pleased to meet you". You can always say, "Mind if I join you, it's a bear pit out here on my own"! Most people respond well to humor and will be happy to include you into their group and conversation.

To make friendships, if you meet someone that you would like to get to know better, then invite them to a small gathering yourself. Perhaps a little dinner party. If that sounds daunting then try to find out their interests, this will please them anyway and start a bond hopefully, and suggest that you go somewhere together that you know that they would be interested in.

Asking others about themselves always goes down well. This will help you to get to know more about them and they will like you as you have shown a positive interest in what they have to say. Listen more than you talk. This means that you don't need to think of topics for conversation and they will enjoy being listened to.

There are more people out there than you realize who would be pleased to make your acquaintance. Just give them the opportunity, relax and enjoy meeting new people and the rest will flow on from there.

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