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years later I was married, pregnant and being wheeled into the hospital emergency room. It was my sister who later reminded me, as my daughter lay across my chest in the labor ward (husband looking stunned) that I had already picked a name for her when I was only 17 years old. Not only had I picked her name, I had also decided how it was going to be spelled. I'm an unconventional type of gal so I wanted my daughter to have an extra ordinary name. How many girls' names do you know that start with Q'. I thought so, not any.

Now the reason this particular piece of information is so important is because where I come from, parents are usually not allowed to select the names of their children (of course at age 17 I had not thought about that). Our custom dictates that children are named after relatives, starting with the in-laws. So God forbid if you marry someone whose mother's name is - (you can fill in the blank). In our tradition a first born son is named after the husband's father and first daughter after his mother. The second son is named after the wife's father and so on (you get the picture). So when I met and married my husband I was pleasantly surprised to find out that his mother had the exact name that I had always wanted to name my child (except for the way it was spelled of course). Coincidence? I think not.

You see, I never really thought about the names of all my other children. But I had sat down and consciously made a decision to think about my daughter's name. I had spelled it out several times. I had rolled the name across my tongue to savor the sound of it. I had thought about the name and the person who would carry that name. I had shared the name with my sister and together we had discussed it and agreed that it was indeed a good name for a future daughter. In essence I had started to conceive my only child when I was only 17.
This year I turn 50 and I have suddenly realized that even though I really wanted my daughter to have siblings, I had always wanted just one child, one daughter. After all, I never took time out to think of the names of my other three children only the name of my one daughter. I am the mother of one daughter and I wouldn't have it any other way. She fills my life with joy every day. I thank God daily for answering my prayer.

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