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There are certainly times when I do wish I was a little more assertive and that perhaps I could say "no" to those few things I seem to continue saying "yes" to, however I do not believe that I sacrifice my own happiness by being too agreeable. Some people fear upsetting others, or making them angry, or simply do not know how to say what you really mean, because they are perhaps too shy, or just too nice. This is somewhat common and most of us probably say yes to certain things we regret later, but it is important to learn how to say no.

When it comes to my personal relationships, I put them in a position of uttermost importance. For this reason, I am not going to say yes to something that will make me unhappy. It is important to have what we want in our personal relationships, not just with our partners, but also with family and friends. Sometimes there are people in our life that continue to pester us, with the expectation that we will say yes. Never say yes just to get someone off your back if it is something you really do not want to do. You must be happy with your decisions and you must show people where you stand. No one wants a doormat in their life and if they do, then they do not deserve to have you in your life, because they are merely using you.

At work I am prone to saying yes a little more often than I do in my personal life, however I do not think I do so in a way that suggests I am being too passive. If a manager asks you to do something, generally it is because it is part of your job description, so saying yes is the right answer and you do not need to feel as though you are being passive by doing so. However, if you are asked to do something by a person at work who is not your superior, and you really do not have the time, then it is fine to say no. Never fall into the trap of doing other people's work at the sacrifice of your own work quality.

I am also still in the stage of my work life when I am only new to the work force and not yet at the stage of working my way up through my career. I am doing office work to keep me employeed and cashed up, before starting a professional career in psychology. For this reason, saying no is not nearly as hard as it may be in the future. I feel no real obligation to my current position as I am aware that it is only temporary, so if the hours do not suit me, or the expectations interfere with my study, I will not hesitate to say no and I have done so with ease for the past few years. I do believe this will change when I start a professional career, however it is likely that I will enjoy saying yes if it involves the chance to develop my learning.

There is nothing wrong with saying no. Make decisions that make you happy, but that does not mean you can never say yes!

Learn more about this author, Holly Rogers.
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